The beginning of my new life

It was the title for the Essay Competition earlier today. In fact it was supposed to be tomorrow but as most of the people are leaving to KL, plus we don't have English tomorrow in the timetable.. we just took it today!

Anas was like, "Are you serious, teacher?", and Mdm Armstrong was like, "Yes, I'm DEAD serious!"

It was so sudden that no one was actually ready for it( although there's no way that you can prepare for an English essay test) and I, too was sort of nerveous.


I wrote about a girl who just moved into a huge city, thinking of myself some times later :)
As I've mentioned before, I'm currently planning for a trip to NY and my parents are about to send me to Seattle for the rest of my high school education! The whole idea is just really fantastic that I even dream about it XP



I didn't do much drawings on computer recently, so the one above is the only one that I can post.. for now :)
It's kind of crappy and I JUST doodled this because I wanted to post something with my babbles on this blog... You know, things always look nicer with some 'multimedia' inside(which means images, pictures, music, animation and vedio clips by definition).


Oh, almost forgot to write a very important thing: I MCd the school assembly today ;D
I didn't really admit that I was kind of nerveous, but I made a small mistake by forgetting to tell the students to stand up for the National Amthem(Phew!). But 'twas all good other than that, I believe(Jasper told me that I looked and sounded nerveous but I wasn't mumbling or tremblig all over; he concluded that I was a fairly fine MC!).
Mr. Rogers, Mdm. Kathy and Mr. Lim complimented on my job and honestly, I'm happy about that :D




Well THAT was a bit out of the topic(But what's ever IN the topic? LOL).
But anyways I'm feeling all new already, so you can't tell that the title's a bad one! Hahaha :]

Ah, as for school, I'm not going tomorrow because it'd be darn boring without all the people around(who'll be having lotsa fun in KL). And I don't thing I'll be enjoying the state of being stuck up with the guys(sorry to say, but mostly Korean boys) and SILENTLY DOING REVISION PAPERS. -No thanks. HAHAHA.

So guess I'll be oversleeping tomorrow! Yippie!

DESTINATION

Below this is some amature imitation of Jeremyville's style of illustration. I just love his pop-ish style of drawing that I even cried looking at his works! They're just so amazing and touching. Dunno what happened to me when I was looking at them, but it's true that I actually did CRY(with tears falling down on my cheek!)

[http://www.jeremyville.com <-this is the URL for his website. You really should visit it!]


My imitation wouldn't even half-way impresses others who might be looking at it, I know. But I drew it from a true desperation straight from my heart.

DESTINATION

I have absolutely no idea where to start or where to look at. That's where I am now, and I'm seriously lost in the middle of nowhere. People tell me that I'm already on my way, but how on earth'd they know about it? It's MY life!
Well I thought I knew the best of me. 'Who'd know me better than I do?', honestly, that's what I thought and what I still think. But the problem here is, even I don't know where I'm heading to. I feel so stupefied. Don't put the blame on me, it's not my fault. Please.


I've drawn the similar sort of thing on my palm on Friday, during the English class(Mdm Armstrong stopped over by my table and asked why the sun is crying :P). We were discussing about the direction in which the essey/story should/would go, and it was then when I picked up the word DESTINATION from the teacher's writing on the whiteboard.

I don't quite know where I should go or look at. I'm tremendously confused.

Hippifola

Hey hey hey! The exams are finally over! Alright, I admit that you couldn't possibly find a trace of exams from my blog, 'cause I never mentioned anything about it. And honestly, I didn't even look at the books! ...I mean the ones that you should be analysing through and through for questions from it, not the books like 'TROY' which I enjoyed reading last week(exam week)!

We had to write this essay about 'Reflections' about those exams today in the English class, and I wrote everything down so honestly, saying: "I felt really bad about myself, seeing all those people with red eyes and dark circles under them from little sleep and huge amounts of studies, whereas I slept for almost 10~11 hours a day and enjoyed my time surfing the Net, chatting with people, watching TV and reading novels et cetera..."
I REALLY feel bad now. But what am I to do now, when all is done? There's no use to cry over spilled milk, like I always say.




I mean, what's life all about? It's for you to have fun and be happy! You'll waste it if you don't be positive enough :) Oh maybe I'm being a way too positive, but never mind that. What can I do? I don't feel like crying over those papers, which are all long gone from my mind!

.......And please forget about the negative me.. :$
(I never said a word about being worthless at ALL, just for your information!)

I don't like her eyes, and that part of her mouth is not very satisfactory..... And the clothes are way too dark, blah blah blah... Anyways it's not a BIG deal, isn't it?

That girl in the pic(of course I mean the second one. Don't really look at the upper one, it's done in less then 5 minutes and I'm even embarrassed to post it on my blog!) reminds me of someone, let's say one of my friend's mother :) She(I mean the mum) looks so young despite of all her age(I think she's almost 50 now) and she looks EXACTLY the same with her own son(my friend)! I was really stunned and kind of shocked too, when I saw her pic. She's not a beauty, but she's still like a girl and living a life of her own(she has a business!)... I really admire her :D (Although my dear friend complained that she's never doing any sort of housework and leaves them all to her only son :P )


Anyways,(that was out of topic) all I wanted to say was that I'm feeling much better now.. compared to past few weeks' moods I was in :-D

See? I even doodled something and talked(wrote) a lot!

Appreciation on education.

I suddenly felt bad about myself as I read Astrea's article about education and appreciating what we have.. Because I'm not really appreciating the education which I am receiving. To tell you the truth, I terribly miss my old school which had a HUGE campus and GREAT foods, BETTER facilities, NICER teachers and some FREEDOM in which some of the students were able to cheat in the auditorium and the exam halls, skip off some classes, hide in a locker room somewhere and hang out with your boyfriend/girlfriend under the shades where nobody's gonna find you, or go up to some unused classrooms and smoke a bit for leisure(not that I did ;P) But I ended up here in Kuching, where there are prefects to chase you around to nag and bully you(although I am one of them, I don't really feel much 'responsibility' or whatsoever.. I've even been bringing my phone to school during the exams!), and where you are stuck darn so close with primary 1 kids running around the corridors in a single building which, in my standard, was so small and filthy when I first transferred into this school. My point is, I've never been really satisfied with the environments that I've been given. To be honest, I didn't LOVE my old school either. It was so natural for me that my school was so beautiful and full of staffs, cleaners, guards and polices! But once I came here, I started to miss there desperately. And I think I might feel the same way once I leave this school. I'm planning a trip to NYC by July, to check out how my college'd look like. My parents have been suggesting that I go for the summer pre-college program and try the lectures out ever since I came back from Korea last month, but I literally closed my heart and ears towards them. It was you who said it's too expensive, you are the ones who've been telling me to grab something other than art. Why are you doing this to me? Why did you guys suddenly change your minds? I was distressed, really. I wanted to go, but they've been distracting me, telling me that I should be staying with them FOR EVER in this small city. I seriously wanted to leave, but I didn't like them changing their minds as though they're flipping a paper over. So I didn't bother listening. But once I talked to some of my friends in Cairo and California, I set my mind to leave. Just to see what it's like. Everyone'd say that it's much better to live in the New York City than Korea. I've been to LA before, and I've indeed liked it. That was simply why. I'm a self-centered and a person on the edge. I never ever appreciate what I can have. But from my point of view, things have been bad enough for me. Can't they just come one at a time??? On the other hand, I still appreciate my capability to waste money on hair-maintenance, movie tickets, dates(tho it's mainly the guys who spend more;P), and the access to Internet! That's counted as a good thing, right? Oh well, this posting is simply meaningless. Forgive my babbles ;P

Allegra Infinito.

Yes, the title of this blog. Thanks to dear Astrea who kindly gave me this name :)

I've doodled something on my painter, and this looks quite okay for me..

I mean, it kind of looks okay. Not up to the standard, and I didn't really concentrate while I was doing this(mainly because of my brother, who was watching Nickelodeon beside me)

"Allegra Infinito"

In fact I have no idea if the word 'infinito' really even exists, but as Allegra sounds Italian, I just decided to use it. First I thought of using 'viva' in stead of it, however I ended up naming it this way. Dunno why, but it sounds nice :P

The background was supposed to look like this. Originally this pic has a huge resolution of 966*300, in which you'll be able to see all my tiny little sloppy mistakes here and there XD

Here is a zoomed-up version of the girl. Personally what I like about her is the color of her hair.. It's the hottest pink! I wish I could have a hair like that :D

Other things like eyes and headset, I don't really appreciate them tho. Some details are missing and she 'freaks' my brother out (laugh out loud!)

About being useless.

I suddenly realised that a human being is the most feeble and useless thing than anything that exists in this world. And I'm SERIOUS. If I had a chance to choose, I would have rather liked to be a random rock or some kind of weed on the street, even though that might mean that I gotta be kicked around by people, cars and dogs. Really, it doesn't matter a bit for me. I'd prefer it that way. At least, weeds and rocks can't feel or think, or forced to look at others' faces wondering if the person in front of me likes what I'm saying or not.

No, I'm not stressed out about THAT point of being a human. But think about it, life could be a whole lot easier if I was a mere stone. Ain't I right?

It is a disgusting thing to be a human. And life as a human stinks. You are practically useless thing in this universe! Not just useless, but a bad, bad thing! Exhaling a large amount of carbon dioxide for lifetime, polluting air, rivers, lakes, seas and earth.. destroying ozone layer, sending spacecrafts and satellites into the space to create more and more waste materials, they are numberless to count. Oh, one more thing; giving birth to their heirs in order to let them continue this destruction in later generations. Heck. People these days even burn themselves into ashes when they die off. What waste of nitrogen(Hope I named the right substance :P)!



O.K. I'll tell you what. It's all because I am feeling useless and actually am kind of cynical today. All negative and angry(Note that I'm not like this all the time!). But see, now I'm like,

rather than

or

No, I'm not depressed at all. I just feel useless and it makes me angry.

About what? Well, guess it's myself. I can't really blame anyone, can I? I mean, I can't blame my parents for giving birth to me(although sometimes I do feel like putting the blame on them), or the God for creating me and giving me life. I know life is a precious thing, and no one's supposed to kill themselves or whatsoever(still there are people who do, tho)... But seriously human's of NO GOOD at all! There's no way you can defend this evil species! I am useless, and that's definitely a fact. Alright, there might be someone saying no, and thank you if you think so, but, ah. I don't wanna argue about it. Just leave me alone to criticise and insult myself.

Again I say, I'm not sad or depressed. I'm just angry about humans being so useless, useless, USELESS.

Hello, world.

Hey, it's my new blog in English!





To be honest, I had had some English versions of blogs before. And they all ended up like,

Oh yeah. Shame on me. But I'll do better this time. It's a promise! So I guess I'll have to this time :)

Alright, here it goes; about myself!

My nick is Allegra now, but I have several other names that ppl call me with, so you can call me in any others (i.e. Coin, Violet, Yuvy etc.).

Age : currently 16

D.O.B.: 12 January 92

Nationality : Korean

Present Location : Kuching, Malaysia. (Gonna leave as soon as I graduate at the end of this year! ...Hopefully:P)

Zodiac : Capricorn

Interests : arts, anime, dancing, dating, doodling, drawing, movies, music, reading(depends on the book tho;P), piano, on-line relationships et cetera (in fact there are dozens more!)

This blog will mainly consist of my doodlings, some personal cheat-chats(basically self-talking), and some reviews of books and movies :)